On and On, Reckless Abandon.

flashakaviolet:

willsicott:

tuxedoandex:

ugly:

What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?

what

Guardians of the Galaxy

Get out

(via loop-holes)

  • bae: come over
  • me: do you have food
  • bae: my parents aren't home
  • me: are they coming back with food

sabrielshipping-charliebartlett:

"We’re preparing you for the real world"

I don’t meant to alarm you but

the real world has calculators

(via thegirlsastraightupblinker)

fvming:

"You don’t have many followers"

Jesus only had 12

(Source: fvming, via satan-blessyou)

president-brobama:

 

jawnsolo:

ninjawear:

howtodresswell:

would u punch a kid for $500,000

shit I’ll do it for $10

i’ll give you $10 to let me punch a kid

(via when-skies-collapse)

See what your followers think of you.

BLACK = I would date you.
GREEN = I think you’re cute.
BLUE = You are my tumblr crush.
GREY = I wish you would notice me.
PURPLE = I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
TEAL = We have a lot in common.
YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.
ORANGE = I don’t like your blog.
BROWN = I don’t like you.
PINK = I think you are unattractive.
RED = I hate you with a burning passion.
WHITE = You scare me.
RAINBOW = BED PLZ.

(Source: omgreblog, via sippinthat-xo)

  • person: so what music are you into?
  • me: are you sure you're ready for this conversation

How to escape after being buried alive in a coffin.

lettuceiscurrentlyinmyasshole:

freakology101:

timesnewromney:

shickhard:

It could happen to anyone. People bury a person alive to scare them or to get rid of them. In this situation, rely only on yourself.

  1. Do not waste oxygen. In a classic coffin there’s only enough oxygen for about an hour, maybe two. Inhale deeply, exhale very slowly. Once inhaled - do not swallow, or you will start to hyperventilate. Do not light up lighters or matches, they will waste oxygen. Using a flashlight is allowed. Screaming increases anxiety, which causes increased heartbeat and therefore - waste of oxygen. So don’t scream.
  2. Shake up the lid with your hands. In some cheap low-quality coffins you will be able to even make a hole (with an engagement ring or a belt buckle.)
  3. Cross your arms over your chest, holding onto your shoulders with your hands, and pull the shirt off upward. Tie it in a knot above your head, like so: imageThis will prevent you from suffocating when the dirt falls on your face. 
  4. Kick the lid with your legs. In some cheap coffins the lid is broken or damaged already after being buried, due to the weight of the ground above it. 
  5. As soon as the lid breaks, throw and move the dirt that falls through in the direction of your feet. When it takes up a lot of space, try pressing the ground to the sides of the coffin with your legs and feet. Move around a bit. 
  6. Whatever you do - your main goal is to sit up: dirt will fill up the empty space and move to your advantage, so no matter what - do not stop and try breathing steadily and calmly. 
  7. Get up. Remember: the dirt in the grave is very loose, so battling your way up will be easier than it seems. It’s the other way around during a rainy weather however, since water makes dirt heavy and sticky. 

JUST TO PROVE TUMBLR HAS A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING.

just in case guys

it could happen to anyone

(via kuzkospoison)

flukenluke:

flukenluke:

flukenluke:

My dad is old and he thinks it’s time to become a hip guy so he’s watching all these random ass YouTube videos and I can just hear him laughing so I go look at what he’s watching and he’s looking at a parrot feeding a dog and he’s just cracking up

Now he’s watching the Don’t Stop video lmao

He just texted me from work, “asked for your number salad you don’t have a telephone”

image

(via feistymikey)

fake-mermaid:

petition for disney to make a whole new channel dedicated to old shows

(via loop-holes)

queefilicious:

What if I told you
You read the first line wrong
And then you reread first the line
But there wasn’t anything wrong
But there was with the third one

(Source: susemoji, via everyb0dy-talks-babee)

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